Consider the Journey

 

I struggled with not having opinions and with confidence to speak, from childhood through my young adult years. Then–surprise, surprise–this deficit trailed along through my midlife adult years!

Only when my life fell apart and I had to sort through to make sense of it all, did I turn to writing. The measured searching for perfect meter and phrasing began to crystallize my thoughts and deliver wisdom. I share…

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My Gift

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I’ve held back my very personal life experience, but now it’s time to share.  Universal Connection is a truth — thanks to Erika Kind for that reminder.

I Dare You to Get Old!

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Age and DNA – we can run from them, but we can’t hide! One of the most painful times that I recall with my mom was after her knee replacement, when she was v-e-r-y slowly padding around with a walker for support. As I painfully watched her mincingly creep across a room, and then agonize down a single step to my patio, so many feelings toward her surfaced that made no rational sense. Anger, pity, anger, doubts, anger, compassion, fear … I understood the pity, doubts, the compassion, even the fear. But the overwhelming anger was a ‘grabber’ that confused, made me ashamed, and shook my foundation!

Then it snapped in — how dare my mom who was my first person, my constant person, and my always person get OLD! All of my vulnerability surfaced…all of my insecurities shouted out in protest. Once I faced that in my mirror, admitted it to myself and accepted the experience, I forgave myself and let the crippling stuff go. She healed -she’s my octogenarian super-hero -and I healed and became much wiser from that shared-mirror lesson.
(Go catch her in action with my sister lbeth on https://nutsrok.wordpress.com)

Simplicity – Underrated

Simplicity - Underrated

Nutsrok – Our family’s gone live on the web!

If you love storytelling and family, check out  https://www.nutsrok.com

Consider the Journey

Einstein quote                     

                    Consider the Journey

    Ancient One:   The Journey is very important!

    Child:                As important as the Destination?

    Ancient One:   Oh I tell you from wisdom – far more.

                               On the Journey,  you create who you are.

   Child:                 But I know who I am!    

  Ancient One:     We can change our minds about where we’re going,               

                               But we can’t un-know what we know.

                                                                                  — Phyllis Barrington

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Life – Using Words to Start Over

For only the last ten years or so have I written —  

before that, I felt that my words and phrases were captured behind an impenetrable curtain. I always knew that there was a lifetime as a writer, but that ability was trapped and I would just ramble flowery and forced phrases in school. That block was strengthened in my years growing up by parents who met a mouthy comment with a stern,  “Don’t dispute my word!” It became fruitless to have an opinion in that framework. Then with my husband, communication was a very sticky issue as he never wanted to deal with emotions or philosophy (the weather was a safe topic).

When my world suddenly fell apart, and my life and my self were gone, I took a ‘why-not-I-don’t-know-what-else-to-do’ Australian pilgrimage in 2003. As I walked with Aboriginal guides through the rainforest and swam in the Great Barrier Reef, then new thoughts (ME thoughts) … began to flow. I did lots of listening and suspended judgement of what came.  I was really amazed when I first began to listen and interpret that silence into poetic form as a tool for understanding myself and life.  As I felt the feelings and chased them around in my head, then nailed them down, the new word-thoughts became elixir for my confusion. 

I always get more vision for and about myself and my journey now when I dive into the quiet place between my thoughts and awareness to write. What was survival became my healing, and ultimately my passion — thanks words!

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